Im confused

what's exactly going on. confusion set in. I was wrong then. It was a mistake not choosing you. I regret it. And I want you. I want to be yours. I want all the care, the love, the jealously, the possessiveness, and even the hate. I want that all to be directed towards me. Is it possible? Will I be able to tear down the walls you build?  In my head I think I can if only you answer to one question. Do you still like me? Deep down I know you do. But not this me you started liking the outgoing, happy, optimistic person that I used to be. Im working on going back to that. But ik that its wrong to change for the sake of someone other than yourself. I want to be happy again. My happiness comes from the happiness of the people I love and care about. You're one of them. So is it okay to use that to motivate me to change? Or is it as equally wrong? One way to find out I have to try 

Livin la vida loca~

Emptiness, loneliness, darkness. I lost touch with myself but that changed, you wanna know how? I met a fool....
One of the first words I said was inspiring. Wont make much sense to you guys. It took courage for me to talk to him. His kind intimidate me, but I certainly wont regret it. He's the most confident, kind, and understanding person and I talked to him for less than half and hour, well he did the talking.  Point is he got me to understand that believing in myself is the key to everything you know who you are, you created yourself so dont go destroying yourswlf woth thw thoughts of others. I know it has an effect. With me I got trapped, I felt caged my society. Why? Because im a female. I started believing that Im a failure,that no matter how hard I try im not going anywhere. So he told me his story, displayed his thoughts. God bless his soul. A while ago I did realize that I was basically preparing my deathbed (not literally) and I managed to get up and fix the mess I made of myself, he gave me that little push to go on.
Sometimes its okay to fall, as long as you get up. It's okay to listen to what people say if you believe that what you're doing is right. Sometimes its even more than okay to be a fool....
Livin la vida loca~

Publish??

Im thinking of publishing rad i3tibar as an actual book in stores if the committee agreed to it what do you guys think? And please I want your opinion on the story with your names

reply

thank you for all the support i enjoyed reading your comments they made me the happiest person on earth and im really trying to post as soon as i can its just school is taking most of my time. im really sorry but my studies are important right now for my future. about the two people who commented on the actual post of unpredictable part 4 http://3afreetah-almehairi.blogspot.com/2013/02/unpredictable-part-4.html#comments
you said you read a story like it and called me a liar well i dont know what to say to you i wrote that story on my own in class mostly in physics and its bound to have similar stories but its only the beginning of it it might turn out completely different. i dont care if you believe me or not but i promise if you get me the blogs name ill read it and if my story is the exact same ill stop posting it. im not a thief and i most defiantly dont lack originality. and to be honest if i stole this story i would have dont the same to the other first two. my passion is writing that's why i blog i want people to know that i have this talent that i want to share but if ill have people telling my im a lying thief i wont share them here anymore.
thank you
-amna almehairi

Where are you

Ive been through a lot this past few months (spares you the details) and I havent written anything during that time I posted but got no feedback please comment I really want to know if I lost the talent
@3freetahas_blog is my twitter account and you can email me at asm_96@live.com thank you

unpredictable (part 4)

Fahad: it’s almost 5 go to sleep.

Fai9al: I can’t.

Fahad: goom mob magdar wallah 5ayef 3al bent madry shoo nawee tsawelha Tara mob nag9a.

Fai9al: 5ala9 3ad ma basawee shay roo7 ethlef 3nd 7rmatk w ent saket.

Asma

I opened my eyes slowly as I remembered what happened. When I was awake I saw him, upper body revealed with only a towel covering his lower parts. I was going to scream but quickly covered my mouth as I noticed the water droplets running down his shoulders from his hair.

Fai9al: I'm sorry I just came to get my clothes didn’t mean to wake you up.

I wanted to say something but closed my mouth. Could I get more embarrassed?

Fai9al: it’s okay I get it. Anyways how about we change the mood a bit, care to join me for breakfast?

I looked away without answering him because I couldn’t. He took his clothes and walked out.

Fai9al

I didn’t mean to freak her out I should have taken my clothes before I went to take a shower. I know she won’t come for breakfast with me. So I prepared a pretty much decent breakfast in bed meal for her.

Fai9al: e7m

Asma: huh?

Fai9al: may I come in?

Asma: yeah sure it is your room after all.

Fai9al: I got you breakfast. You must be hungry.

Asma: ummm thank you.

Fai9al: any time.

I just sat there and stared at her face. I miss starting at those wonderful eyes, amazing smile….

Asma: do you want some?

Fai9al: huh, no bil3afya 3alaich I already ate.

Asma: Allah y3afeek.

Fai9al: I don’t mean to ummm… if you need to talk to anyone we’re all here. Think about it, it might help.

Asma: okay.

Fai9al: if you need anything call on me or any of the girls.

She nodded before I left. As much as I wanted to stay I knew she needed her space I just wish I could tell her, but it’s too late and too early now.

Hello?? You guys still there??

I miss writting here. I really truely hope that you guys are still here. Ive been soo busy with school and I still am its stressing me out. I havent written for a while but I want to go back to it. I'll try to post as soon as possible