my person

i guess I'm an idiot. thats a nice way to start it off i guess. well wow still too many emotions clouding my brain i can't really focus on what I'm writing. but in a way the words that you say without thinking are always the most honest.

im crazy about him. he make me do stupid shit stuff that just don't make sense. sometimes on purpose to piss him off because of the way that he's always busy. when he didn't say a thing i thought he never noticed but oh how wrong i was. he checks and sees and endures my stupidity. i realised this a bit too late and no apology could do him right. i was always blaming  him for his ignorance. i simply thought he didn't care enough to make time. 

so i write this with a heavy heart tears down my cheeks and sorry thoughts. i never should have doubted the feelings you ave never should have said hateful things. so i hope that you  come upon this and realise that only you can make me so stupid...

i write this as an anon and hope you can post this near new years for one of my resolutions is to be a better other half to my one and only.... my person

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i give absolute respect and thanks to the person that submitted her thoughts i do hope i get more and i wish people still check my blog and I'm sorry for the long disapearence 

thank you for sharing...

hi guys. i know its been a long long while. i also know i havent kept my promise. but do excuse me ive been stressed and going though stuffing. i lost inspiration i lost the passion i had for writing im really trying its just i feel that part of me is dead.

i like to listen to what people have to say keeping it very confidential my email asm_96@live.com
if any of you readers would like to share with me something im open to thoughts and ideas
 one of my close friends wanted to share this and is looking forward for feedback

enjoy
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I know I’m stressed I want to get over it, but at complete loss on how to do that. I have been crying more than ever at the thoughts of you. I fully understand that you and I are simply the best of friends, and we have been for the past 3 years. It’s been harder on me when reality struck. Where is this going? How much longer is it going to last before you find that significant other, that one lady that takes your breath away, makes your heart skip beat, pulls out the words “I love you” involuntarily from between your lips? Honestly speaking I still think of that one time you said that to me, and it scares me thinking that one day I will have to let go. Seemingly that I am not courageous enough to actually tell you how I feel in fear of messing us up, I type down in shame, the secret of my devastated heart.

“You've been the most amazing person to me. This one sentence says it all. The way you convey me as perfection in your mind drives me crazy. For all the mistakes I've done, for all the things you know of, you still help my hands through it all. Even if we just don’t talk for a while, once I call for help you’re by my side. This to me is pure bliss, this is happiness. For all I've been through one stupid unnecessary remark from you makes everything feel better. I don’t want to lose that, I do not want to lose you. You said it once, and if you haven’t meant it you would have stuck around making me feel like I matter. So will you please hug me and promise not to break my heart

“In other words please be true , in other words I love you”- sung by frank Sinatra ~fly me to the moon~

unpredictable part 8

faisal: i won't. i get how hurt you are, i understand that you hate me but it has not been any easier on me..
asma: you caused this..
faisal: you just dont get it.
asma: oh do explain to me
faisal: what have i been trying to do? you just wont listen. all you think of how i hurt you are. i wanted to come back, i wanted you back.
asma: but you kept that part to yourself.
faisal: it's because fara7 told me how much you changed as a person, how you managed to grow and move on. i didnt want to come mess up the great person you have become. because we both know if i came back a month, or a year ago, it'll give the same result.
asma: so why now?
faisal: when i got on the plane that got us here, it wasnt because i finished and wanted to come home. it was for you. i have talked to my family about wanting you, getting you back, making you m wife.
asma: then stuff happened with me
faisal: yes, but that doesnt change the fact that i still am set on doing what i told you.
asma: i wanna see my parents can you take me?
faisal: look at me.. i will do anything you ask of me, anything to please and make you happy. i'm gonna fix this, i will earn your trust. i promise
asma: i dont trust your promises.
faisal: i said i'd come back, i know i am very late but i did come back.

the rest of the ride was silent. but the thoughts never stopped. hope is always there never give up on a person who cares and would do anything for your happiness, because even if you two are nothing more than just friends this is true love. i learned the hard way, but from now on i will learn to be strong depend on my self turn my back to the people who toy with me and lend a hand to the people who truly have my back....

more soon.... A

Unpredictable (part 7)

Asma: you dont get to do this
Faisal: asooma 7abeby please calm down
Asma: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO
Faisal: staying here wont do us any good
Asma: what are you doing?
Faisal: ill drive around maybe that'll make you calm
Asma: faisal...
Faisal: im sorry I left im sorry I lost contact im sorry I didt try im sorry I didn't tell you im sorry I left you alone ans im sorry for what happened
Asma: 15 years. You knew where I was you knew everything. Fara7 helped you know everything. Why didnt you just come back?
Faisal: me leaving was bad. When I found out fara7 was your cousin I told her and made her promise not to tell. I wss waiting for the right moment.
Asma: you really think that this is the right moment?
Faisal: no its not but I didn't have a choice.
Asma: no you did. You always did
Faisal: im here now and I want to fix things

Asma: nothing you do will fix this, the wound runs too deep

faisal: asma please

asma: i hate you

faisal: you dont mean that

asma: yes i do now take me back.

new friend i dont want to lose

There was this fear and nervousness embedded in me, I never thought I’d have courage to walk up to someone and just talk. From what i heard this person wasn't that perfect, but that all changed after a question I needed the answer to. And I got that. I was thankful that I wasn't ignored and that I got an honest answer. I learned to respect this person because even after I made I clear that everything was okay I still received a message later that day making sure that things were cool. Slowly I got to know this person better and better. I shouldn't have judged based on what I heard and i'm glad I didn't depend on it. But something wasn't right, there was something missing, something at lost. I tried to believe that there was trusts between us since I got to know very little details, somehow personal one. This person turned out to be not at all what I expected. The kind of person you depend on, the kind of person you trust, the kind of person you need as a friend. Modest, funny, honest, awesome, but yet very confused. I admit we’re still very young too many more things to see in the world and a lot more to learn. As weird as it seems, because I haven’t known this person for too long, I wish them all the best, in everything.

Good friends are hard to come by, when you find one try not to let go. I wrote this inspired by a new friend, but I wanted to prefect it before it could be read because they deserve perfect. I think I did a stupid mistake that might have cause the feeling “upset” to emerge so what better time to show how much my friend means to me…….

Reading between the lines

For a while now ive been trying to understand people. Ive been trying to understand their thoughts, their actions, and their personality. I spend a lot of time staring at my twitter timeline. One person caught my       attention, and I usually look for him on my TL. He's the casual guy, with lost of mystery. As social as he is, his random tweeting to himself about emotions drives me crazy. It confuses me. One minute he's solid and the other he's a hot mess. For some reason I learned a lesson, it wont do me any good thinking about who people really are. Sometimes whats on the surface, the obvious, is more than enough. But i always will have some interest in knowing who he is..

Thank you @Khalefornia for the thoughts

Unpredictable (part 6b)

Asma:hey
Faisal: hi im sorry didnt mean to wake you up
Asma: its okay I slept more then enough.
Faisal: you van leave the room ypu know you arent obligates to trap yourself here.
Asma: maybe I will
Faisal: and if you want to see your parents we could take you.
Asma: but fara7 said I cant at least not for a while.
Faisal: I guess we can not tell her about it.
Asma: really??
Faisal: yeah I could take you.
Asma: that would bw great but I dont want to put you in trouble
Faisal: dont worry so tonight?
Asma: that would be great

Fara7

Fara7: lets hope she notices the key before you guys leave the house.
Fahad: what if she tries to leave?
Faisal: ill lock the doors
Mona: lets hope this works out

Faisal

Faisal: you ready?
Asma: what about fara7?
Faisal: mona and fahad will distract her. We have about two hours
Asma: okay.

They got in the car and he locked the doors.
Faisal: asma..
She turned to look at him and noticed the key chain. All visible emotions dissappeared.

Asma: get me out of here..
Faisal: asma please
Asma:unlock the doors.
Faisal: a7bch