Im confused

what's exactly going on. confusion set in. I was wrong then. It was a mistake not choosing you. I regret it. And I want you. I want to be yours. I want all the care, the love, the jealously, the possessiveness, and even the hate. I want that all to be directed towards me. Is it possible? Will I be able to tear down the walls you build?  In my head I think I can if only you answer to one question. Do you still like me? Deep down I know you do. But not this me you started liking the outgoing, happy, optimistic person that I used to be. Im working on going back to that. But ik that its wrong to change for the sake of someone other than yourself. I want to be happy again. My happiness comes from the happiness of the people I love and care about. You're one of them. So is it okay to use that to motivate me to change? Or is it as equally wrong? One way to find out I have to try 

Livin la vida loca~

Emptiness, loneliness, darkness. I lost touch with myself but that changed, you wanna know how? I met a fool....
One of the first words I said was inspiring. Wont make much sense to you guys. It took courage for me to talk to him. His kind intimidate me, but I certainly wont regret it. He's the most confident, kind, and understanding person and I talked to him for less than half and hour, well he did the talking.  Point is he got me to understand that believing in myself is the key to everything you know who you are, you created yourself so dont go destroying yourswlf woth thw thoughts of others. I know it has an effect. With me I got trapped, I felt caged my society. Why? Because im a female. I started believing that Im a failure,that no matter how hard I try im not going anywhere. So he told me his story, displayed his thoughts. God bless his soul. A while ago I did realize that I was basically preparing my deathbed (not literally) and I managed to get up and fix the mess I made of myself, he gave me that little push to go on.
Sometimes its okay to fall, as long as you get up. It's okay to listen to what people say if you believe that what you're doing is right. Sometimes its even more than okay to be a fool....
Livin la vida loca~